"Pretty" ~ Nicole Scherzinger

When I was your woman
And you was my man
You used to say the sweetest things to me
But you was always good at that
You used to tell me I was pretty
The best that you ever had
And there was nothing more important to you
Than being with the perfect ten

So my, my nails were done
I had my hair on point
Got my, my body tight the way you like it boy

Yes I played the part
Then you broke my heart
As if I mean nothing to you
Can't believe how you made me feel pretty

Pretty upset
Pretty broken
I feel so pretty
Pretty messed up
Pretty much done

Now without your so called pretty
All in all it pretty messed up
I don't wanna be pretty no more

When I was your woman
And you was my man
I tried to share my world with you
But you just did not give a damn
You just tell me I was pretty

As if that's all that I am
It's like you never even knew me
Or tried to get to know me
Was just an accessory
Oh can't believe
How you made me feel pretty

If I had to do it
All over again
I just swear its gon be hella different
Cause you made me question
Who I really am
I don't know why I put up with you
Can't believe
How you made me feel pretty


I don't wanna be pretty no more
Don't wanna feel pretty
Done with all your so called pretty
All in all it pretty messed up

"I don't wanna be pretty no more."

"I Will Always Love You" ~ Whitney Houston

If I should stay

I would only be in your way

So I'll go but I know

I'll think of you

Every step of the way

Bitter sweet memories

That is all I'm taking with me

So goodbye

Please don't cry

We both know

I'm not what you

You need

I hope life treats you kind

And I hope you have all you've dreamed of

And I wish you joy and happiness

But above all this

I wish you love

And I will always love you

"Please know that I love you more than anything else in the world."

Lost

I've been feeling really lost lately. Overwhelmed with mixed up feelings. Depressed, angry, surprised, excited, stressed and somehow I really don't know what to do to make myself feel better. It feels like there's something inside me that I can't get it away. Sometimes it makes me feel really hard to even breathe. I thought I would feel better if I could just cry everything out and have a really nice sleep after that then everything would be fine when I wake up. It always works, for me at least. But the problem is I ran out of tears. I think I've cried too much in the past and used up all the tears I have.

I don't even know how to describe how I feel. It's like I'm sad but I can understand his decision but I can't control myself to not be mad at him. I know it's wrong but I really feel like having a revenge on him but I know it's impossible coz he no longer cares or maybe he never did. I just want him to know the pain I'm going through but now that all he cares for is himself, there's nothing I can do to make him know. It's like hello?? I'm not blind nor illiterate. I can read you asshole. It would be really nice if you can be a wee bit more considerate on me.

However, it's true that a goodbye brings a hello. A quite cute guy talked to me and he's very sweet. He gives me surprises and always brightens up my day with the little things he does. But sometimes he can be a bit too mature for me? He doesn't realise the fact that I'm only 19 and I just wanna have some fun and do crazy things and play around. But oh no. "You shouldn't this. Why did you do that? I'm not happy." Oh okay. He's nice but I can't be myself around him. Yes he's romantic, supportive and stuff but I'm just not ready to be in a commitment. The worst part is I've only known him for a month and he's putting such pressure on me.

On top of all that, A-levels is killing me! I hope I'm gonna survive until this friday and I'll be on the plane flying back to Malaysia on the day after. Fingers crossed. I'm so gonna miss every single person I've met here and they will always be in my heart. I love them all! For my dearest friends in Tawau: Keep Calm. I'm coming home! Miss you guys so much and I'll be back to annoy you for three months! Be prepared!

Love everyone who made my life so Wonderful! Thank you for being in it!

"Life has many different chapters of us. One bad chapter doesn't mean it's the end of the book."