CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

Happy Chinese New Year!!!!!!! XD This year lets be brave, strong and super cool dragons in our lives!! This is my second year celebrating cny without being with my family and NO ANGPAU!!! T^T sobss.... However, I celebrated CNY with all my deary friends in Birmingham! We had our reunion dinner in Han Dynasty and it was sooo damn nice.. XD then we went for karaoke and I got a little but tipsy and caused quite a lot of problems for my friends and I'm so sorry about that.. >,< wont let it happen again...
And today we had bamboo for our CNY's eve dinner.. just like last year.. XD thn played bullshit and it was damn funny... feel so happy to have so many friends to celebrate CNY together.. XD

HAPPY DRAGON YEAR!!!!
xxx

My life

Want to know how I go through my days with a broken heart?

1. I listen to loud musics whenever I have nothing to do so that it can cover up the voice in my heart.
2. I keep laughing no matter what people say because I don't want to give any chances for my mouth to curve downwards.
3. I keep myself busy so that my mind won't wonder to places that I can't afford to step in.
4. I hypnotise myself to think of other things before I fall asleep and as soon as I wake up.
5. I get myself involved in a lot of social networking so that I can shift my attention to other people's businesses instead of yours.
6. I can't say the words i used to say to you easily.

Sometimes I really feel that I have gone back to the old me again. The only difference is I didn't know what love is back then but now I can't feel love anymore.

"Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends in a teardrop."

Coward

I miss you baby. Everything around me just seems to remind me of you. Remember I told you that I got used to the life without you when I broke up with you? Now I realised that because you were always there in my heart for 5 years so it feels like you're already part of my heart and you've exist like it is something that are supposed to be until I have forgotten that you're there because you wanted to not because you have to. How stupid I am to only figure it out now. Now you left my heart with a hole and there is this spot in there that can never be replaced by anyone. I just hope that as time passes by, I'll be able to get used to the hole. Maybe it'll take another 5 years or maybe more. I don't know. But I know that I had missed my chances and this is all I'm left with and I know that I deserve all the pain. Sorry but for your sake I have to keep myself as far away from you as possible. I have to block you in everything. Now I even find facebook dangerous because it connects people but I don't want to be able to know how you are doing. I really can't afford to hear anything about you. When I am done building thick tall walls in my heart, I'll stand in front of you and say hi to as a friend. Maybe by then I would have to give you best wishes on your new relationship? I just need some time then I'll be your friend, Olivia.

"And suddenly I become part of your past, I'm becoming the part that don't last, I'm losing you and it's effortless."

It's time

Time to let go and move one and the very first thing to do is not to decide where you want to go but is to decide that you're not gonna stay where you are right now..
Now I'm trying to take my first step, leaving where I'm standing now... The first step may be the hardest part but I think I can make it through.. I can't say that its a new start because I don't plan to forget all the things that had happened in the past, both good and bad.. all of those are precious memories and even if I can forget about the past, its still there. It wont disappear just like that. But I won't let it bother me anymore.. No matter where I go, I'll be really happy that I left..

"We all have time machines. Some take us back, they're called memories. Others take us forward, they're called dreams."

I'm always so surprised that you'd be the one to hold my heart. Although my heart has been broken for so many times, it's a miracle that I can still love you with all the bits and pieces. But, sometimes, I feel so restless to keep putting my heart in front of you and see you pushing it away again. However, I'm not afraid of trying again, I'm just afraid of getting hurt for the same reason.

I know I messed things up in the past and maybe you think that I don't love you but you're just wrong. As long as I still feel something it's not over. Believe me, sometimes I wish it was. But it's not, I can feel it. I know what I've done and regret it every day. If I could make things right you know I'd find a way.

I have tried to move on by shifting my attention to other guys and I did find someone who gave me the same feeling as the time I first saw you in the tuition centre, if you remember. But it doesn't feel right. Slowly, I can no longer see how good he is because in my heart you're already the best for me. Even if I turn my body away, my heart won't leave.

I just want you to know that when I tell you I love you, I don't say it out of habit or to make conversations. I say it to remind you that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. How I wish you can hear all the things I'm too scared to say.

"Learn to appreciate what you have before time forces you to appreciate what you had."

Pampered Flight =D

Surprise!!!! When I was boarding my flight from KL back to UK, Mas upgraded Sandra and my seats to BUSINESS CLASS!!!!!!! Oh my GGOOOOSSSHHH!!!! It's like going from hell to heaven!!! XD The food is awesome.. they serve it HOT on PLATES instead of in boxes.. And the seats can be turned into beds so we slept through most of the journey!!!! We even have appetisers before each meal.. BTW, mas actually didn't lie about all those tasty-looking food on the advertisements.. They just don't tell you that it only happens in business and first class.. hmmm.. >,<