Coward

I miss you baby. Everything around me just seems to remind me of you. Remember I told you that I got used to the life without you when I broke up with you? Now I realised that because you were always there in my heart for 5 years so it feels like you're already part of my heart and you've exist like it is something that are supposed to be until I have forgotten that you're there because you wanted to not because you have to. How stupid I am to only figure it out now. Now you left my heart with a hole and there is this spot in there that can never be replaced by anyone. I just hope that as time passes by, I'll be able to get used to the hole. Maybe it'll take another 5 years or maybe more. I don't know. But I know that I had missed my chances and this is all I'm left with and I know that I deserve all the pain. Sorry but for your sake I have to keep myself as far away from you as possible. I have to block you in everything. Now I even find facebook dangerous because it connects people but I don't want to be able to know how you are doing. I really can't afford to hear anything about you. When I am done building thick tall walls in my heart, I'll stand in front of you and say hi to as a friend. Maybe by then I would have to give you best wishes on your new relationship? I just need some time then I'll be your friend, Olivia.

"And suddenly I become part of your past, I'm becoming the part that don't last, I'm losing you and it's effortless."