Thursday, 28 February 2013

Valentine's letter not sent

Happy Valentine's Day Baby. I know I shouldn't be writing this but I really can't help myself. I hope that you're happier now since every thing is solved. I want the best for you even if it doesn't include me as long as it can make you happy and I'll be happy. I'm sorry I didn't reply the last text you sent me coz I really didn't know what to say. My heart stopped when I was reading it and my mind instantly went blank. I didn't even know how did I change into my pajamas and went to bed. I really didn't know what to do and it took me a few days to finally realise that we will never be together anymore. I know you didn't want to hurt me and that things are not working out between us but I kept holding on coz I really really really hoped that miracles could happen. How many nights I prayed and prayed just to go back to the time when we were so crazy about each other. All the memories felt like a dream I had in my sleep that was too good to be true and I can't even imagine that they really did happen to me. But like all dreams, I still have to wake up. I really thought as long as I don't give up, I could still be with you. I thought if I loved you enough, I could still stay by your side. I'm sorry that I was so selfish that I didn't care if I'd given so much pressure coz I was too afraid of living my life without you. So, I tried my best to not be your burden but then I realised being with me is already putting pressure on you, even when I'm not doing anything. There are so many times that I wanted to call you just to beg you to stay, that I don't want you to leave me. Every night I drown in my own tears wishing that you were here to tell me that this was only a bad dream. How can I still love you so much even after you've given me so much pain that has left me suffocating even when I breathe. Yet, I really still do.


"You're my addiction but also the prescription for my medication."

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